Im reading a book by Lisa Terkeurst titled "The Best Yes". Im only on chapter 2 and Im seeing a theme which I've encountered many times before in my own life. An overwhelmed schedule leads to an underwhelmed soul is how she puts it in her book. I've never understood why people would choose to pack it in and feel in constant "go" mode. What sticks out most to me is this quote from chapter 3 "We become slaves to others demands and let our time become dictated by requests. We will live reactive lives instead of proactive". This is exactly where I am. I live a very reactive life. I react to other peoples drama. I react to debt. I allow other peoples schedules to dictate mine. I give up even having my own desires to run programs and the like for others. Perhaps its time to stop!
"How we spend our souls matters" Lisa says an underwhelmed soul knows there is more that God made her to do. I often feel that very thing. That i am just not doing that thing, whatever it is that I was created for! Sure Im a homeschooler, I was made for that. But I often go to bed feeling like Im missing something, usually shrugging it off to the missed load of laundry or the shoes by the front door instead of truly taking a moment to consider what I should be doing.
What is that "thing" that I will look back on and wonder why I didnt get it done? Is it merely reading the bible through in a year? Did I accomplish it by leading in worship the last year? Is it all the crafts and projects I skip in our homeschool each year? Im not very sure that those are my calling, the way I should spend my soul. Am I so overwhelmed with other demands that I dont even know what my soul is starving for? Its time to take a step back and spend the 150 extra hours I have each week searching for what my soul is starving for!
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